I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
