ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
