arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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