White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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