When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
