i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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