i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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