mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
