just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I want her autograph on my taint
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
