Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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