It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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