Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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