he shaved USA in his pubs
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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