the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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