New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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