have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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