i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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