I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
