At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
