I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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