I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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