Please, let me fuck your mom
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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