...so i touched it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
