You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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