Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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