well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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