I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
