We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize