Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized

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(845): View more from New York

I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am

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(845): View more from New York

Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.

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(714): View more from California

no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you

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(410): View more from Maryland

just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp

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(336): View more from North Carolina

you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?

(828): View more from North Carolina

Sobriety and mild self-respect

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(604): View more from British Columbia

We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.

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(716): View more from New York

Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.

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