Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

there's paper in my vomit.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

4 words: hood of his car

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!

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(201): View more from New Jersey

we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You know how to spell recollection?

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(907): View more from Alaska

HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat

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(269): View more from Michigan

Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?

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