ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
