Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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