I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize