...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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