God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
