carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
