From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
