Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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