You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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