i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
