Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
