My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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