Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
