yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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