were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
