Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
