I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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