i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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