I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
