he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
