Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
