Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
