He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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