Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
