In the future we'll all be gay
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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