When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize