He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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