I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
